rough day?
they say excellence is the capacity to take pain.
every time i rip a moda, i get vulnerable and locked in...
that’s why during all my early mornings & late nights stuff gets done.
it’d feel like a disappointment to myself if I started the day off with a doomscroll, and ended it off with nothing done.
recently... i have not been feeling at my best.
i’ve not fallen ill in a while...
even tho my limitless stim stack basically makes me immune to illness...
my head is throbbing, can’t form a proper sentence, and I just feel weak...
I’ve not felt like this for a while... and I wonder why.
it could be the devil waiting to collect my debt...
it could be the fact obsession broke me...
or, it could be both.
i get more vulnerable taking all these drugs.
there is beauty in this.
up until now, it’s been all about volume, getting work done, breaking prs at the gym, always in motion...
shirtless walks in the park.
sending out emails daily.
gym sessions every day.
strict diet every day.
researching new gems every day, all night.
and now... I burnt out.
I forgot about taking things slow, relaxing...
as much as I love staying in the game...
there is only so much you can do when you get nerfed.
so, i’ll tell you my masterplan on how I will recover from this...
it is 8:34pm rn... stayed in bed most day, and it’s just not cutting it for me...
let me just diagnose myself with a treatment.
imma pop down to my gym...
sauna for 20mins, then cold shower for 3mins, repeat that 3 times.
factory reset my body the right way.
sweated out all toxins.
what will I do when i get home after?
probably go bed, been awake way 2 long.
could work on writing up some emails for the paid email list, but I’d rather read a paperback biography until sleep.
I mean I don’t wanna hop on ps5 and crack some bodies in r6...
being sick is a perfect excuse to slack off, but that’s not in my dna...
...crazy how the mind still gravitates there sometimes, even after everything. old wiring never fully leaves, i guess. it just goes quiet.
anyway... that’s the whole prescription tonight.
got a little delivery tomorrow morning... a cuban cigar to taste.
h. upmann half corona. heard it’s a mild flavour, and a nice long smoke.
excited to savour it on the porch.
and honestly, writing this out has done more than the sauna probably will.
i never learned rest as a skill. only as a punishment i handed myself when the body finally forced it.
every “day off” i’ve ever taken was really just my system pulling the plug on me, not me choosing to unplug.
and a man who only rests when his body threatens him is going to keep getting threatened.
there is days that you simply need a break from everything, that’s fine.
even gods took time off from punishing peasants, can’t blame them. the girls and wine is speaking my language.
tomorrow the routine comes back. it always does.
i’m not built for a life without the mission in it and i don’t want to be.
but maybe this time i actually build the rest INTO the routine instead of getting it forced down my throat again...
that’d be the real win from tonight. just... noticing, for once, instead of ignoring it till it explodes
it comes back to one thing really.
special tea, cigar, back to basics.
never meant to wake up to be average.
specially when a tiny obstacle shows up.
you’ll get rocks thrown at you, and you must do everything to shield urself from it.
so, i’ll end on this...
be grateful to be passionate about a life you’ve created for yourself.
someday you’ll back at these times with a smile.
the moments that made you question the journey, and think about quitting...
but you chose not to.
cuz you know a better life awaits you on the other side...
have a break, chill in the sauna, just never ever quit.
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
P.S honestly, I don’t talk about health much…
but I’m obsessed with maximising health/testosterone.
it’s way 2 easy to hit the top bracket of masculinity when there is so many twinks/femboys walking the streets.
it’s pathetic.
i don’t want you to end up like this, so there is a full framework on how to optimise ur health, and max out testosterone as a young guy in the schizo hub.
want access?